Unhealthy Relationships (Part 1 of 3)
Relationships are supposed to be built on trust, commitment, communication, love, patience and understanding. When all of these components are present and working harmoniously relationships are easy. If one piece of the puzzle is missing it throws everything out of whack and things become chaotic.
What some men and women tend to deem as love is often forms of abuse and control that they have been brainwashed or programmed to misinterpret from prior relationships.
Unhealthy relationships examples:
Being questioned about what you were doing all day, questioned about what took you so long to do something, questioned or chastised about how and why you do certain things, being talked down to or made to feel less than attractive or smart, questioned about what you purchased for $10 or being questioned on how you are dressed or the way you look
Now some people were not raised in a non dysfunctional 2 parent household and some of these people are the main ones that honestly feel like they are good or great relationship material when they have not been taught or shown how to properly treat a mate. This is basic Sociology, we naturally imitate what we see growing up. If there was always some chaos around, some form of control, drama or negativity from arguments, misunderstandings or poor communication when you were growing up and you are not open to change because you view your characteristics as normal then there lies the problem.
Men are not the only ones that can be controlling. Men and women can both use a form of control to dominate or make themselves feel important or superior to their mate. This is often a form of insecurity that they have regarding how they feel about themselves.
Healthy Relationship examples:
Someone asking you about your goals for the day/week, someone encouraging to get off your phone or laying off the TV to crush your goals, someone offering to help you complete your goals, someone genuinely concerned about how you got through your day and offering solutions to any obstacles that you may have encountered. Helping you create and maintain a budget that both of you can stick to.
If you take a look at the unhealthy examples versus the healthy relationship examples you can clearly see the difference in the way you would feel in either situation. I want you to remember that our kids are growing up watching how we move and interact within relationships and we must do better at providing healthy households so that their expectations are high and they will not be attracted to unhealthy situations.
Remember, abusers are always in denial and they never take responsibility for their actions without trying to drag your name into the situation. Red flags are always there yet we tend to overlook them because we fall in love and then it becomes resentment, chaotic and stressful. We can all use a reality check from time to time and exam ourselves and our role within our relationships. At the end of the day your relationship should be productive and happy.
